OH, my virgin eyes!
My body is a locked temple.
I have been friends with plenty of these and found that eventually, things did work out for them. So, if you find yourself in this category, fear not, your time will come.
- The E-Pen (TM) Hair Removal Gadget. Lets face it, no one wants to sleep with a person with weird hairs growing out of their <insert body part here> is that what she said?
- D&E Pharmaceuticals Body Odor Blocker. I'm not saying you do, but you very well MIGHT smell. Trust me, that's more of a turn off than that uni-brow you're sporting. Try these, they might help.
- 1968 Chevrolet Camaro Convertible. This works 98% of the time. I promise. I can't think of a single soul who could resist this.
I totally respect your decision. And that's all I have to say about that.
- The Holy Bible. uhm...because this is usually the gasoline to their gas tank. You can never have too many copies.
- Cross Timbers Twin Bed Set. I think it's safe to remove the option of having someone else in bed with you. Remove all temptation.
- Deluxe Chastity Belt. Are you THIS hardcore? No? Well then, you're not devoted enough.
YEAH! I'm super psyched for you! Go get 'em Tiger.
- Em and lo's Rec Sex : An A-Z Guide to Hooking Up. Most of the good stuff is in section X.
- Condoms. Be safe not sorry.
- Premium Travel Toothbrush. Generally a good thing to carry around all of the time, this handy thing won't leave you terrified of that morning hello-g'bye kiss.
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Since we are now Strangers with Candy best friends, I felt it appropriate to remind all virgins that being a virgin is a wonderful and precious thing to hold on to. . . as long as it doesn't interfere with your having sex. Keep the boulder in front of your love cave!
If I do, will you take me out for PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA?
Hi Lengli:
I love the blog. I'll have to say that the chastity belt looks like that character Falcon from Stuart Little (you can tell I have little kids with such a reference.) What was a girl to do during THE MENSES?
Thanks for stopping by, Leezer! I'm not sure that I would want my chastity belt to resemble a character voiced by James Woods, but I suppose that's a choice each person has to make for him or herself.
I have forwarded your MENSES question onto Renee, our resident expert!
Ok, for clarity, am I the resident expert on menses or chastity belts? Both of which, I must say, make me a bit of a weirdo.
It is my belief that during Aunt Flo's visit, the chastitarian (I made that up) may remove the belt to handle personal hygiene and waste removal.
That got me thinking, imagine being that golden key holder only to unlock it and find an unkept area. EW. Talk about a buzzkill.
Hobocamp sent me.
Nice blog you've got here.
Now, some advice for the virgins out there: if the man doesn't get off, it doesn't count. At least that's what I was told my first time. Yes folks, that's right - he took my virginity and then gave it right on back!
Thanks for your contribution to the list, Mindy, and I really hope you held on to that one, he sounds like a keeper!!