Smell Ya Later? More Like Smell Ya Never!

But I thought he who smelt it dealt it?

All his life, Seamus had been plagued by his terrible flatulence. Never able to truly enjoy his favorite meal of corned beef and cabbage, his friends mocked him with cruel costumes and guilt-inducing gags. Always picked last in gym class and skipped over in Spin the Bottle, he cried himself to sleep each night. Some days the tears even came at school as he was fetching books from his locker, and that was the worst. When would this torment end? Why did his mother have to be a lentil-crazed vegan, why?

One day, however, he received an anonymous e-mail alerting him to remarkable new products designed to alleviate the humiliation of his delicate condition. Carbon filters worn inside the underpants to absorb offensive odors - finally! Combined with a simple regimen of CharcoCaps and some choice words by Benjamin Franklin, Seamus was at last equipped with the knowledge he needed to start go out and living life, free from the shackles of his flatulent past!

And there was an extra-special surprise as well. That anonymous e-mail? Turned out to be not so anonymous after all. It actually came from his classmate Lisa, who saw past his gas and into his heart.

Here's to a sweet-smelling future!