Super-size Me!
In our ever-evolving technological world, it becomes more and more likely that you will give online dating a chance. After all, we shop for most everything online using a highly selective screening process, so why should a potential mate be any different? Since ShopWiki does not participate in human trafficking (we tried for a bit, but those scrappy mail-order brides are notoriously tough to ship), you'll ultimately be forced to leave us for one of those matchmaking sites like eHarmony or OkCupid (just be sure and come back, hear?). At these sites, you'll be presented with a number of dating options, and sometimes the playing field can seem overwhelming. Here is where we come in.
Now, you're of course going to find a number of potential suitors who populate their profiles with photos of their life-sized treasures, whether they be dolls or stuffed animals. How are you to know which person is a keeper? To find out more, check out our guide and bag yourself the honey that's right for you!
The Tease
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The Brooder
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The owner of a life-sized plush dog is a like a honeybee, always flitting from one flower to the next. Eternally young at heart, the Tease doesn't like to get in too deep - but is always up for a good time! |
If you're dying for a sensitive artist type, look no further than a date who proudly has this attractive life-sized corpse bride on display in his or her living room. Expect lots of heart-felt poetry from your Brooder - til death do you part! |
The Nester
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The Royal
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The Nester will take care of you - body, mind, and soul. You won't find another as devoted and nurturing as the date with a life-sized Berenguer baby sleeping cozily in the corner. Trust me, this one's a lifer, so be sure you're ready! |
A suitor who has a My Size Barbie Throne as the focus of his or her home is definitely someone used to being the center of attention. The Royal is entertaining and gregarious, and you'll never be at a loss for conversation topics - just ask about him or her! |
The Warrior
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A force to be reckoned with, the Warrior never backs down from a fight. Confident and adventurous, a man or woman owning a full-sized suit of armor will be a loyal and trustworthy partner - if you can manage to win the battle! |
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I'm a total Warrior. My friends at the Renaissance Fair have been calling me that for years.
captch: also Manhasset
"If you're dying for a sensitive artist type..."
That was so punny, lengli!
Get it?! PUNNY!
Renee - you're a Warrior, you say Roar! It totally attracts the Pickle Wenches at the Ren Fair.
Mindy - aren't I just too much??