Hunk Friday: The Right Scruff

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American President Richard Nixon

Stubble Trouble

The 1960 United States presidential election between John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon was one of the closest and most controversial races in US history. It was reported that Kennedy won the national popular vote by only one tenth of a percentage point (0.1%), the tightest popular-vote margin of the previous century!

Don Johnson of Miami Vice as Sonny Crockett

More like Don JUANson!

Theorists speculated that Nixon could have beaten JFK, that baby-faced charmer had he not chosen to sport a scruffy 5 o'clock shadow during the televised presidential election debates. Perhaps Nixon was ahead of his time, believing that the stubbled look could make him appear edgier and more mature, that it could maybe set him apart as the tough-as-nails leader in response to the Hollywood good looks and prestige that JFK was bringing to the table. But alas, we know how history played out; Nixon did finally get his wish, but without the stubble the second time around, his time in office was doomed by insecurities and scandal.

It wasn't until the 1980's, when Don Johnson debuted as an unshaven James "Sonny" Crockett on television's Miami Vice that the 5 o'clock shadow was finally accepted into popular culture. Men wanted to emulate his "designer stubble" and women wanted to touch it. Arguably, in Johnson's case, his boyish good looks were enhanced by the manly barb, whereas Nixon's pudgy, caricaturesque face was made to look even creepier.

Photo of Lost's Matthew Fox Today the 5 o'clock shadow is a staple in the catalog of male facial grooming. Matthew Fox, the sexy doctor from Lost and Salinger clan patriarch in Party of Five, has made his career by toting the scruffed up look. The odd times I've seen him shaven, I feel like he's a quarter of the man he normally appears to be, which is unsettling. With the stubble though, he is a true leader that I'd follow any day.

Or consider Michael Vartan (of Alias fame), who made the throngs of loyal Never Been Kissed fans equally hot for teacher with his gloriously unkempt facial hair. And who wouldn't want to go undercover with with Agent Vaughn, knowing full well that his scruffy splendour will ultimately protect you from being caught and tortured? Michael Vartan of Alias photo

Now, like in the case of Richard Nixon, the scruffy look does not work for everyone. Let's take a quick look at some of the failed attempts at scruffiness.

Aaron Carter Oh Aaron CD Everyone's favorite Scientologist, Tom Cruise Malcolm in the Middle's Frankie Muniz
Aaron Carter Tom Cruise Frankie Muñiz

John Krasinski of The Office Michael Jackson takes it TOO FAR
John Krasinski
(He looks like a human Homer Simpson!)
Michael Jackson
(Nightmare material)


The photos above prove that the 5 o'clock shadow isn't for all men. Sometimes it's better to to be fresh-faced. But to those blessed few who can pull it off, I salute thee! May you wear your unborn beards with pride!

3 Comments

lengli said:

You forgot perhaps the best example of stubble of the past ten years: Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings series. Quite odd, though, is the fact that Viggy doesn't look nearly as attractive without his five o'clock shadow - in fact he looks downright creepy. He's the complete antithesis of this entire post!

Cruel Shoes said:

Ah, I can't get enough of Tom Cruise's insane laugh-face! 'Specially when it is speckled in man fur.

Frankie Muniz looks like the kid from the trailer park by the train tracks, who walks into town every night to hang at the pool hall and try to sell his crappy weed to anyone who'll talk to him. He wears a hooded sweatshirt that hasn't been washed in months, and he stinks of stale Fritos and failure.

Arz bandit said:

"try to sell his crappy weed to anyone who'll talk to him"

You have no idea how life actually works.

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