Hunk Friday: A Tribute to my Mojo Priest

Ladies aren't the only ones who love him!

I just can’t put my finger on it. What makes Steven Seagal so alluring? Is it his ponytail? His frownies? His Asian eyes? Maybe the fact that he is a singer-songwriter? (I’m not joking.) No, as tempting as his chocolately-deep, velvety voice is, that isn’t what warms the cockles of my heart when I think of him.

Wait, could it be? Yes, I think it is!

It’s because he’s a reincarnated Tibetan Buddhist master! Oh Steven, only you could look that handsome in those muted yellow and red robes. But we are getting too far ahead of ourselves; Steven Seagal was awesome even before his close friend and spiritual master Penor Rinpoche declared him a reincarnated Buddhist master.

As the first white man to open his own Aikido dojo in Japan, he was already famous but after coming back from a 15-year hiatus in Japan, he became a legend. With films such as Above the Law, and Under Siege (I and II), Steven has proven himself not only a great writer and producer, but also an amazing action star with a hairstyle that rivals Nicolas Cage’s dangerously banging locks. Roger Ebert even praises our Steven, saying, “He [Steven] isn’t just a hunk”--even Ebert wants a piece of our Steven!

Clearly, Steven’s ponytail has vicariously proven to be his source of power and resonance, but that is another story. Steven’s blockbusters are not the only projects he has to his credit. He is also a massively accomplished singer-songwriter, releasing albums such as Songs from the Crystal Cave and Mojo Priest and penning such hits as the bluesy Talk To My Ass and the poppish Girl It’s Alright (complete with a music video set in Thailand about him marrying a Thai girl an eighth his age). Hey, even a big action star like Steven needs to fantasize about meeting the love of his life, especially if the first three ended with divorce (they didn’t deserve him). On Songs from the Crystal Cage, he even collaborated with another legend, Stevie Wonder, on My God, which features insightful lines like:

Why don't you put down that guitar, Steven?

Well, obviously Osama is a big fan of Steven’s music.

Much of the Seag's music is heavily influenced by his belief in Buddhism, which leads me to Steven being pronounced a reincarnation of a Tibetan Buddhist Master.

For a long time, Steven studied Buddhism under the Master Penor Rinpoche, but it wasn’t until 1997 that the Master realized that his student was himself a Master. You might wonder, how can an action star who so shamelessly promotes violence in his films be a Buddhist master? Well, all you haters out there need to understand that it's just entertainment, okay? And you know what? We Buddhists invented kicking ass so you best be steppin’, GIRLFRIEND. Or Steven might have to get all karate up in here—or whatever that thing he does is called.