Phone Technology Gone Bad: Convenient? No. Hysterical? Yes.

1. Cell Phone Headsets

This is the perfect cell phone appendage for people who want to slowly acclimate to the present state in which we all live. It has the portability of a cell phone, but yet it is fully equipped with all the inconveniences of both cords and stupidly large receivers. Zack Morris, eat your heart out.

2. The Gun Cell Phone

Who wouldn't want a realistic-looking gun shaped cell phone? People who want to avoid penitentiary shower hour, that's who.

3. The Toilet Phone Caddy

With this item I may be straying a bit from the original topic, because it is not exactly a phone. However, if your phone is not yet house-broken--and you wish to avoid accidents when you go into the other room to check your email--then this might be the best thing that ever happened to you.

4. The Wearable Phone

I am not quite sure what the point of this invention is supposed to be. Aside from eliminating that burdensome 5 ounces of phone weight, it doesn't do anything useful. You still have to bring your hand to your ear--as with a normal phone--but now you look like a dufus, and will henceforth be spending your afternoons getting swirlies in the life-sized version of item #3.

5. The Turkey Dinner Phone

If the hamburger phone is the equivalent of a Big Mac, then I guess this is the equivalent of a--more eloquent--super-sized meal?

6. The Invisible Phone

I, for one, love losing my cell phone. That is why I was enthused to come across this transparent cell phone model. If you're anything like me, right now you are marveling at the fact you did not think of this yourself, and wondering exactly where you can get the one thing that will fulfill your inherent need to make life more difficult: the transparent cell phone.

7. The Phone Implant

This is a phone concept that--according to the article where I came across it--has been regarded, by university scientists, as the next step in phone technology. I seriously hope this remains a theory...forever.