UnDeRgRoUnD Fashion, Come On Up For The Rising.

By Danielle on October 21, 2009 10:54 AM | | Comments (4)

If all goes according to plan, I will make an overly dramatic exit on a holiday--or other day of significance--and ruin it for everybody; then I will resurrect on Halloween--like any proper ghost, ghoul, or member of the undead clan--to scare the bejesus out of little children. But--save for the maggots crawling out of my ears and nostrils--I want to look good when I pull myself out of the grave.

man peeking out of Mercedes shaped coffin

Something that looks like this will do just fine (maybe with some added color).

What is the first thing someone sees when you rise from the dead? Your coffin. The coffin is your way of making a first impression, and I want mine to bear upon the urethra. It may also detract attention from the creatures living in my portas--I am sure they will want their privacy. Personally, I think the conception of Creative Coffins is genius.

The makers of Creative Coffins understand that rising from the dead is not a trivial dealing, and that a recurring coffin is like a recurring Minnie Mouse costume: tired and boring. This may be an issue when your coffin is built to last, but not when it is cardboard chic, like all Creative Coffins are--and like each one of my future coffins will be. Now that Creative Coffins are around, each year I will be able to rise with a trendier, scarier, more shocking piece.

Hey, maybe I'll even achieve posthumous fame--another reason why a Salem's lot box just won't do. I am all about rotting with my coffin--not just inside it.

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4 Comments

Rebekka said:

If only the good die young, does this mean that as you get older you are more evil, and that to live forever you must be supremely evil. Gosh I do hope they don't relocate your burial site.

October 22, 2009 1:38 AM
Maddie said:

you will be an awesome freak show tourist attraction:)
The coffin company shoud pay you - only what will you do with money, when you're dead the rest of the year?

October 23, 2009 7:14 PM
Daniel Jimenez said:
If all goes according to plan, I will make an overly dramatic exit on a holiday--or other day of significance--and ruin it for everybody; then I will resurrect on Halloween--like any proper ghost, ghoul, or member of the undead clan--to scare the bejesus out of little children...

...and we will be ready.


October 24, 2009 12:37 PM
Danielle said:

Rebekka: You really made me wonder with that analysis of "Only the Good Die Young". I bet Billy didn't even think about it that deeply! Rest assured, I plan on keeping my burial site limited to one spot--so my followers can know where to find me each year.

Maddie: I assume that undeadliness will certainly amp up my freak show appeal! Hopefully the coffin company will throw money my way (I will spend it on discount Halloween candy and the next year's coffin)!

Daniel: I just about died when I clicked on that link (oh how appropriate)! That was too funny. Now I'll have to find a "How to Rival Mortals" guide for zombies. Darn. I'm sure they'll have one out in Barnes & Noble by Christmas.

October 26, 2009 10:01 AM

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