Results tagged “dating” from Overlooked

So this Hunk Friday choice (better late than never, eh??) is actually quite controversial for me. On one hand:

It's Uncle Jesse! Look at that hair! And nobody can sing "Michelle Smiling" like this man. NOBODY.

On the other hand:

And that's not even the half of it. Not only does John Stamos look all strange and sound all funny with his new veneers, as evidenced at Bob Saget's Roast on Comedy Central, but he was quoted in the now-defunct Jane Magazine a few years back as saying this:

No John, no!! The world doesn't need to know such horrible things about you! Why have you ruined everything?!?

This tension between Stamos as man-myth and True Colors Stamos is so great that it haunts me even in my sleep. I once dreamed that John and I were actually dating, and throughout the whole of it, I was incredibly conflicted and even weighing the pros and cons in my head. As in the previous argument, the main pro was that I was dating Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse! Have mercy. However the whole age difference was troubling me, and as the dream went on and I thought more about what I was doing, I became physically less attracted to him. At one point he kissed me and I was like ew, no.

But the most bizarre reason that I decided that I didn't want to be dating Stamos was that I was troubled by his then-recent breakup with Rebecca Romijn. On one hand, I was concerned that I was the rebound girlfriend, and I didn't want that to happen. Yet even more disturbing was the thought that I might be the un-rebound girlfriend. Because then I'd be tied down to Stamos for the rest of my life and I really didn't want that. I was basically ruing the day I let matters escalate and had no idea how to get out of said situation. How does one break that news to John Stamos? One doesn't. He's Uncle Jesse!!

So, gentle readers, let me put this important decision into your hands. What are your thoughts? Is Stamos your dream hunk? Or are you still just hung up on Uncle Jesse?

In our ever-evolving technological world, it becomes more and more likely that you will give online dating a chance. After all, we shop for most everything online using a highly selective screening process, so why should a potential mate be any different? Since ShopWiki does not participate in human trafficking (we tried for a bit, but those scrappy mail-order brides are notoriously tough to ship), you'll ultimately be forced to leave us for one of those matchmaking sites like eHarmony or OkCupid (just be sure and come back, hear?). At these sites, you'll be presented with a number of dating options, and sometimes the playing field can seem overwhelming. Here is where we come in.

Now, you're of course going to find a number of potential suitors who populate their profiles with photos of their life-sized treasures, whether they be dolls or stuffed animals. How are you to know which person is a keeper? To find out more, check out our guide and bag yourself the honey that's right for you!

The Tease	The Brooder
The owner of a life-sized plush dog is a like a honeybee, always flitting from one flower to the next. Eternally young at heart, the Tease doesn't like to get in too deep - but is always up for a good time!	If you're dying for a sensitive artist type, look no further than a date who proudly has this attractive life-sized corpse bride on display in his or her living room. Expect lots of heart-felt poetry from your Brooder - til death do you part!
The Nester	The Royal
The Nester will take care of you - body, mind, and soul. You won't find another as devoted and nurturing as the date with a life-sized Berenguer baby sleeping cozily in the corner. Trust me, this one's a lifer, so be sure you're ready!	A suitor who has a My Size Barbie Throne as the focus of his or her home is definitely someone used to being the center of attention. The Royal is entertaining and gregarious, and you'll never be at a loss for conversation topics - just ask about him or her!

The Warrior

A force to be reckoned with, the Warrior never backs down from a fight. Confident and adventurous, a man or woman owning a full-sized suit of armor will be a loyal and trustworthy partner - if you can manage to win the battle!