Results tagged “glitter” from Overlooked

The teen bee, also known as the popular girl, the queen bee, or--when referring to the male equivalent--the jock, is unforgiving, unrelenting, torturous, and fabulous. She is designer goods, and her recipe of glitter, rumors, and blackmail has gotten her to the top of the social ladder, where she and her posse rule the school. Despite her less than appealing personality, you both love her and love to hate her, which is why this diva's status is the most coveted in societeen. Don't cross this bee-otch unless you've got a good plan.

• How to Identify: The Teen Bee is a baser mixture of human that consists of a 20:20:60 blend of poly lycra evil. She fakes her look with a never-ending supply of confidence, Prada (designer varies depending upon location), and MAC makeup. If you live in my area, it is likely your teen will have highlights and a fake tan...and will still be sporting this look well after high school. A great way to detect your teen bee is to buy the latest issue of Seventeen magazine and to turn to the "this season's hottest trends" section. Behavior consists of excessive expenditure and/or overt displays of money the bee may or may not have, conceit, and making a part or full time job out of self-promotion. She also enjoys following the trends of popular magazines, mainstream culture, and popular music. Blasting the radio while driving in the car is a must (rolling down windows while doing this is also a must). After all, people need to know she is cool.
• Your Most Effective Weapon: WOMAN'S FLAT OR WEDGED BOOTIE.
• How to Rival: First you must get near the hive. You will do this with gifts that attract teen bees: small bottles of lip gloss, ring pops (diamonds!), or pigskins for the beefriend. Be nice, but subtle. Once you have been invited to the big game or party, you are in. Do not forget the bootie, it is your most important accessory; and, if I have not mentioned it already, the shoe must have a flat or wedged heel (NO STILETTOS). Stiletto heels have boomerang properties, and unless you want to be caught, you will follow my advice. Once you are in the crowd make sure your target is visible--it may be wise to practice on a "My Size Barbie" before the big day--because you've only got one shot. Throw with precision, and knock that teen bee straight off her high horse. If you're especially lucky, the horse will run away, and there will be no way for future teen bees to get atop the social ladder. If you are not that lucky, this process may need to be repeated within a few months.

Is it just me, or is this completely the opposite of everything that a snow globe is supposed to represent? When I think of snow globes, I think of a lovely little scene - perhaps the Eiffel Tower, the North Pole, or Cleveland - that is instantly made magical by the light dusting of newly-fallen snow.

Instead we get to shake up the globe and see Freddy's newest victim have her vision obstructed by all the random crap that's swirling through the air as he lays in wait, pondering the perfect moment to strike.

Despite my reservations, I'm tagging this as a gift idea because we all have those occasions where you just want to completely alienate someone. Pestery great-aunt keeps sending you socks for your birthday? Send her one of these babies for hers and she'll soon realize you aren't worth the trouble. Ex-boyfriends or girlfriends keep calling? FedEx this over and wait for the restraining orders to come in!* Or maybe you just have a horror film enthusiast in your life, in which case this actually is the perfect gift. But if you ask me, you might want to reconsider that particular friendship. For your own good.

*Neither Overlooked nor ShopWiki condone this sort of behavior, you sick, sick bastard.

As time goes by, my mission in life becomes clearer every day: I know that I am to devote myself to preserving the memory of Liberace for the generations to follow. There is no better way than to think globally and act locally, so I am planning to redecorate my apartment this spring. I feel that constantly being in the presence of such grandeur will inspire me in unimaginable ways.

The only problem is that space is very limited, and though it would be my dream to have the theme carry over into the entire apartment, I do have roommates and I don't want them to reject Liberace before they even get to know him. And so here is where I enlist you, Internets, to help me decide how to get the most bang for my buck with these timeless cardboard standups. Make sure to leave your vote in the comments!

Mystery Daterace This is the Glitter Man at his most refined, delightfully understated for him and ready for every occasion. Dinner with the Queen? A night in with friends? He's ready for anything and will look amazing doing it!	The Czar Wonderfully sophisticated - and dare I say royal? - the Czar is just the thing to impress honored visitors. Surprisingly sensitive, he'll dedicate songs to you on the radio and buy you ice cream on hot summer days.	Stars & Stripes Foreverace Patriotic, whimsical, and always ready to kick up his heels, he'll choreograph dances and lead the crowd in karaoke. Need last-minute snacks too? Not to worry, he's a whiz with petit fours! Martha Stewart, eat your heart out!