Results tagged “holidays” from Overlooked
If all goes according to plan, I will make an overly dramatic exit on a holiday--or other day of significance--and ruin it for everybody; then I will resurrect on Halloween--like any proper ghost, ghoul, or member of the undead clan--to scare the bejesus out of little children. But--save for the maggots crawling out of my ears and nostrils--I want to look good when I pull myself out of the grave.
Something that looks like this will do just fine (maybe with some added color).
What is the first thing someone sees when you rise from the dead? Your coffin. The coffin is your way of making a first impression, and I want mine to bear upon the urethra. It may also detract attention from the creatures living in my portas--I am sure they will want their privacy. Personally, I think the conception of Creative Coffins is genius.
The makers of Creative Coffins understand that rising from the dead is not a trivial dealing, and that a recurring coffin is like a recurring Minnie Mouse costume: tired and boring. This may be an issue when your coffin is built to last, but not when it is cardboard chic, like all Creative Coffins are--and like each one of my future coffins will be. Now that Creative Coffins are around, each year I will be able to rise with a trendier, scarier, more shocking piece.
Hey, maybe I'll even achieve posthumous fame--another reason why a Salem's lot box just won't do. I am all about rotting with my coffin--not just inside it.
You're so hot and cold with me!
Sure, sure, it'd be obvious to say Santa Claus or Hanukkah Harry is the biggest holiday hunk of them all, but that would just be too easy, not to mention an outright and dirty lie. Just because they get all the attention around this time of the year, this hardly qualifies them for this coveted title. That'd be like overlooking Michael Vartan just because Brad Pitt is in way more movies, has preposterous facial hair goals, and has an undead lady friend that pops out children at the speed of that wacko Arkansas Duggar family.
Way back before the Jonas Brothers ever came into being, there was a little TV special called The Year Without a Santa Claus, and the most important brothers in my life were the Miser Brothers: Heat Miser and Snow Miser.
Not only are they singing and dancing machines, but these characters are archetypal bad boys: veritable James Deans reincarnate (if he sang and danced, that is). Sure, they and their unpredictable weather patterns were put on this earth to make your life more complicated, but can you imagine a day without their dulcet tunes and impassioned gazes? A day in which your heart doesn't skip a beat from the sheer thrill of the thought of seeing them? A day in which you can't feel Heat Miser's woollen tufts of hair lightly brushing against your cheek, or Snow Miser's icicle-covered fingers caressing the small of your back (sometimes both at once!)?
Perish the thought! That's no life at all!
But don't take my word for it....
If it's not love, it's probably just hyperglycemia.
Whether you love Valentine's Day or think it was invented by the candy companies to sell leftover Christmas chocolates, the odds are likely that, unless you live in a cave, you will at least once in your lifetime have to celebrate the big day. And if you're living in a cave but are reading this through the magic of the Internets, I'm sure that your cutie from Yahoo! Personals would appreciate something. Anything. Come on!
In an attempt to steal some of Renee's thunder (yeah, that's right, I said it!), I have written up a mini-guide for ways to enjoy (or cope with) Valentine's Day, no matter what your relationship status.
You'll be in like Flynn!
If you need more suggestions on choosing the perfect present, check out ShopWiki's Gift Guide. Happy Valentine's Day from all of us at Overlooked and best of luck with the big day!
Dog forbid he should spill Manischewitz on his tallit!
Why should your 13-year-old nephew Elijah get to have all the fun when your faithful dog has been by your side, day in and day out since the day you first brought him home? Better he should just lie there and waste away unnoticed - if only your son, the doctor, were so devoted!
So maybe a bar mitzvah for the dog is a little out there - the synagogue is already overbooked and who wants to convert 13 into dog years? But with Pup Shalom, poochies don't have to look like total goyim when they go out for a morning constitutional. In fact, between Halloween, Hanukkah and the High Holy Days, you'll be hard-pressed to find an occasion where Pup Shalom isn't appropriate attire!
Happy Hannukah, everyone!
Ed. note: But what if your dog doesn't celebrate Hanukkah? Don't worry, I've got your goy dog covered.
Don't get candied apple on your lederhosen, Friedrich!
On that fateful evening, Horst Schenk, the night watchman at the candied apple factory, improperly extinguished his cigarette before succumbing to the crashing low following his nightly sugar binge. Thankfully, because of the proximity to the Rhine River, neither the city itself nor any of its inhabitants were at any time imperiled, but the factory was annihilated beyond repair. Horst was later stoned to death by an angry mob in front of the Town Hall.
Since that tragic fire, Germans and Germans at heart alike have dedicated their lives to commemorating the memory of all those succulent lost souls and the population that could only stop weeping with the rise of reliable import relations. To this day, in almost every home across the nation, one will find a tribute to the chilling misfortune, most commonly in the form of intricate tapestries.
However, the sympathizers at ThinkStock know that not everyone has the kind of time for back-breaking loom work, and so they have generously compiled a photographic series for just such an occasion. Now you too can show your support of the Düsseldorfers' plight and your love of history with these attractive pieces.
From all of us here, Fröhliche Halloween, and for more decorating ideas, follow the jump!
