Results tagged “regression therapy” from Overlooked

Don't make him be without you tonight!

Back when I was growing up, even though the neighborhood kids and I possessed hefty imaginations and lilting singing voices, all we had to document our travails were tape recorders and cumbersome video recording equipment. Thus, the only people who ever bore witness to our masterpieces were our parents, and even they were often disinterested.

However, thanks to the current golden age of the internet, true talent no longer is no longer squandered, and certainly not so for Pensacola's epically bespectacled Mark Gormley. These days, all you need to become a bona fide rock legend is some home recording equipment, a green sheet, the movie making software that ships with your computer, and a dream: with these simple items, you're free to create beautiful and expressive videos that can convey your spirit to the world. In my humble opinion, the world is exponentially better for this, and in particular, Gormley's majestic video entitled "Without You".

Remarkable?

Truly.

We here at ShopWiki would like to take a break from our regularly scheduled Hunk Friday Sexiest Facial Hair programming. We are doing this today in order to pay tribute to the soon-to-be-defunct print version of Playgirl magazine. In the future, should you desire to ogle muscle men (or just read the articles, of course), you will have to visit their web site instead.

In the meantime, let us remember the glory days with some if its more infamous covers (via gigglesugar).

Burt Reynolds	Jean-Claude van Damme	Alan Thicke???

Just make sure nobody spills PBR on you

I'm not sure what the kids are up to these days, what with their fancy portable video game consoles and expensive cell phones, but back in my time, we had a calling. And that calling was to be the sole purveyor of addictive confectionary treats that were only available for a few months out of the year.

For one glorious month during first grade, I joined the ranks of those prized citizens known only as the Girl Scouts. It was a whirlwind of badges and after-school meetings and sit-upons. As previously mentioned, I was a shy child (that's right, Steve, I'm calling you out again!), and it was nice to be a part of a social group. However, as was often the case with much of my hypoglycemic childhood, things were about to take a dark turn.

It all started with the stupid dance badge. I was timid and didn't want to dance, and yet I still wanted the badge. Was that too much to ask? Apparently it was, for I never received said badge, a fact which my injured six-year-old self has never forgotten. But this was not incentive enough to quit (though nor was it incentive enough to try harder in manner of countless movies centered around underprivileged youth for whom dance is their only outlet).

No, that incentive came perhaps a week later, following that year's cookie sales. Aimee, one of my fellow Girl Scouts, one of the sisters, made fun of me for only having sold cookies to my family. I'm pretty sure it was that very day that I packed it up and told my mother I didn't want to go back. As a practical and un-soccer-mom-like mother, she had no objections and asked few questions (the cookies were already ordered anyway: her sweet tooth was guaranteed sustenance for at least the next few months).

It is for these very traumatic reasons that I prevent the newest Next Big Thing in hipster fashions: The Girl Scout Sash. I'm sure there are scads and scads of twentysomethings who are still trying to get over their scouting days, and what better way to do that by embracing the very thing that caused you pain in the first place? Furthermore, the Girl Scout Sash is fully customizable: it can be decorated with the normal badges (I can finally have that dancing badge after all!) or with all manner of ironic buttons.

Remember, hipsters: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Leeloo Dallas Multipass.

Like a loving cat bringing home a mangled bird corpse, I bring you this: five movies that will enrich your life immensely and make your friends appreciate you more.

1. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th dimension - As a young child I loved this movie greatly, it played a major part in creating the ideal of "cool" in my fresh and impressionable mind. The hero wasn't some imperfect alcoholic struggling with decisions, making moral judgments. NO! He was the epitome of cool - given it was an 80s cool, but cool nonetheless. Brilliant, cool under pressure, on the cutting edge of fashion. And this was the first movie to set the "Aliens as Rasta dudes" trend. My favorite part was the alien guy pulling on the jelly teat-like appendages in order to drive the giant meatball.

2. Ishtar - Technically this movie was a flop (as was Buckaroo Banzai), but it features all the good stuff you expect from an 80s action buddy adventure. Think Lawrence of Arabia meets Seinfeld. Hilarious dialogue and wacky situations make for a good time: I want to buy a blind camel! HA! My sister and I would play out the vultures in the desert scene every time we had a huge expanse of sand to crawl around in. And not to mention Isabelle Adjani... For you folks out there that are drawn to her like a dung beetle to a campfire: let's just say it'll do for you what the alien pulling on the jelly teat-like appendages did for me as a young boy.

3. The Fifth Element - In my personal opinion, this movie is the cream of the cream of Luc Besson's repertoire. The first time I saw this movie I really wasn't impressed, but what did I know, I was just some lame teenager. I saw this movie again later on in life and I really enjoyed it. I got all the quick one-liners and appreciated the most excellent vision of the future that it portrays. If you enjoy the technicalities of films then this is a really tight movie. Layers of details and the different story lines come together to make it great. And for all you fashionistas, Jean-Paul Gaultier did the costume design work. While you're watching try and guess who's a model and who's an actor! Really, a great movie and one of my all time favorites!!!...!

4. Last Tango In Paris - I think this is one of Marlon Brando's best roles. The dialogue is absolutely outstanding - some of the best writing I've heard yet - and I think a lot of it was improvised. It's got everything (and probably a little more) you could possibly want from a Euro flick: wild cut scenes of the movie within a movie, long soliloquies in a foreign language, and an overwhelming sense of laissez-faire malaise (Parlez Vous?) smeared all over it. I love this movie because the French avant-garde parts are really French, the American one-linerism is really American, and the absurdity of the "let pretentious art fall flat on it's face" Italian surrealism brings it all together. If none of that made any sense then your BS detector is set on high. But seriously, this movie will get a response out of you one way or another. I personally think that this is such a great comedy (Commedia dell'arte if you will) that those with less finely-tuned comedic feelers will view this strictly as a tragedy. I mean come on! "I want you to smell the dying farts of the pig" - don't tell me you wouldn't giggle a little bit at that!

5. John Carpenter's The Thing - As far as science fiction movies go, this is one of the best ones. The special effects are great non-CGI. The plot is suspenseful and thrilling, and it will leave you questioning which of your friends are human. But it has more than just that: it is also an excellent filmographic treatise on human nature. Throughout the film there is an underlying revelation of our desire to push ourselves as humans almost to the brink of destruction to better know what we are (you really should turn down your BS detector). The ending is left open, but in my opinion it is a fitting end to the discussion: only a human that isn't infected by the hyper-survivalist alien thing would take a drink of alcohol. The very artful and subtle balance between leaving an opening and firmly closing the book is what makes this movie one of my top picks.  Plus it has Wilford Brimley!

You dropped your fake doggy poo.

Honorable Mentions:

• Top Secret: A hilariously original film. Gag upon gag upon gag: you'll have to watch this movie over and over to get them all. There have been times in my life where I have quoted this movie non-stop for weeks at a time: "Souvenirs! Novelties! Party Tricks!". Actually, I would have moved this movie up and created a Top 6 list if I weren't so lazy.
• The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit: A movie that is pleasantly enjoyable while you're sober...or an absolutely ripping good time in an altered state. If you leave your preconceptions and prejudices at the concession stand, then this is bound to be a cult favorite.
• The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse: To tell you the truth, I didn't get through this one; I thought it was a blue movie. I put it up just to see how you pronounce it. I should have known it wasn't what I thought it was when Edward G. Robinson had top billing... Paging Dr. Clitterhouse, where are you Dr. Clitterhouse? Maybe I'll give it another chance, spend some time getting to know it better.
• Meetings with Remarkable Men: For all you philosophizing, esoteric knowledge types. The filming and scenery are exquisite. The underlying belief theory wasn't really for me, but maybe it'll charm you into giving away all your possessions, and then becoming disillusioned and buying more possessions on Shopwiki's Store Browser.

Ponies rule! Dolls drool!

(A conversation between lengli's & Renee's 4-year-old selves)

4-year-old lengli: I love My Little Pony! This one is named Merriweather and she's a Sparkle Pony and she's my favorite because she can fly. I like to pretend the bathtub is a pool and then we have a pool party. She's the most beautifulest pony I've ever seen and I love her.

I hate dolls! And I hate babies! My grandma once gave me a doll for my birthday and I told her I hated it, yuck! They're ugly and stupid. Animals are better because they're pretty. My neighbor's cat sleeps in our sink. It's funny.

Doll clothes rule! Naked Ponies drool!

4-year-old Renee: Nuh uhhh! How come your ponies are always naked? You don't get cool clothes to put on them...that's BOR-ING. No one likes naked things. My mom says I can't be outside naked and she tells me not to play with my Barbies when they're naked. She bought me lots of clothes for them. Even little Barbie clothes hangers! Besides my Barbie can ride your Pony so that means it's better. Mom says I shouldn't let the Pony ride my Barbie though. Especially if they're both naked. And Ponies are always naked. Ew.

I love my Barbies. I hate your Ponies. But I like being naked. Mom said I should stop saying that.

Such as I was, I have declared myself.

I have a confession to make.

At age 18, my friend Courtney and I started renting Olsen twins movies. And maybe we watched them several times, but I'm not saying anything. Because, you know, I must have blacked out from all the underage drinking that was going on and I just can't remember. Because that's what kids my age did, right? RIGHT??

Ok so that last part was a lie. The truth is, someone slipped me a roofie and when I came to, I was forced to watch those movies against my will and I swear I said no!

Dammit, I said I had a confession, and a confession is what I will make. I can always play the hipster card and say that watching these movies was done with ironic intentions but the fact is, they were enjoyed. See, despite my years and better sense, I am really a tween at heart.

The best of both worlds!

Now, I don't shop at Limited Too or anything (if only because they don't make my size!! No really, I'm kidding), but many an evening at home is spent watching "That's So Raven" or "The Princess Diaries". I have been contemplating the purchase of a Wii for the sole purpose of helping Hannah Montana win her greatest musical challenge yet on her Spotlight World Tour.

Though it may seem like I'm just a complete freak, I know a large number of people who will drop everything to watch a "Degrassi" marathon on The N. I think part of the answer here is that at the time when we're going through our own adolescence, we're think we're too cool for it. What self-respecting tween wants to align himself or herself with the very things things that identify him or her as a part of that demographic? At an age where we're at the height of our awkward stage, we long to be older, more graceful, more perfectly-complected. We rush to grow up, and when we do, we find that youth really is wasted on the young. It's a good thing our nostalgia is marketable.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a world tour to perform.

Keep in mind - the more necklaces you wear, the more indie you are

About the time when girls were bringing Caboodles makeup cases to sleepovers and wearing slap-wrap bracelets, best friends everywhere finally found the perfect avenue with which to express their devotion: the Best Friends Necklace.

Two half-heart pendants that when put together form a single heart, the best friend necklace was the elementary school equivalent of a wedding ring. It bonded you and your best pal for the entirety of that school year (at least!) and it let others know to back off - you were taken. A shy and withdrawn child ever since Steve B. pulled up my skirt in kindergarten while I was handing out snacks to the other students (you hear that, Steve? I'm publicly outing you!!), I in particular felt the sting of not having a best friend with whom to share the necklace, which in my mind was the ultimate declaration of friendship.

Based on my experience, which I'm sure was one shared by many, I would like to state here today my theory for the Next Big Thing in fashion: the resurrection of the Best Friends Necklace. Given the hipster tendency towards irony and the fact that true hipsters are traditionally characterized by a sense of alienation from society, I can see few other more perfect means for them to display not only the omnipresent love of nostalgia, but also, if you were to wear both halves of the necklace at once, the sentiment of being perfectly outside society!

Just remember, when they start selling them at Urban Outfitters, you heard it here first.