Results tagged “regret” from Overlooked
If only this clip only lasted longer than 14 seconds! Few remember that David Faustino (aka D L'il) had a failed rap career in the early 90's, but "Married... with Children" helped highlight this with their spoof of Grandmaster B. Never forget again!
But I thought he who smelt it dealt it?
All his life, Seamus had been plagued by his terrible flatulence. Never able to truly enjoy his favorite meal of corned beef and cabbage, his friends mocked him with cruel costumes and guilt-inducing gags. Always picked last in gym class and skipped over in Spin the Bottle, he cried himself to sleep each night. Some days the tears even came at school as he was fetching books from his locker, and that was the worst. When would this torment end? Why did his mother have to be a lentil-crazed vegan, why?
One day, however, he received an anonymous e-mail alerting him to remarkable new products designed to alleviate the humiliation of his delicate condition. Carbon filters worn inside the underpants to absorb offensive odors - finally! Combined with a simple regimen of CharcoCaps and some choice words by Benjamin Franklin, Seamus was at last equipped with the knowledge he needed to start go out and living life, free from the shackles of his flatulent past!
And there was an extra-special surprise as well. That anonymous e-mail? Turned out to be not so anonymous after all. It actually came from his classmate Lisa, who saw past his gas and into his heart.
Here's to a sweet-smelling future!
A memento from those halcyon days
Salutations, my dear friends. You probably remember me as Bubbles the Chimp, the star player of Michael Jackson's menagerie of animals at the Neverland Ranch. It's true: in the magical, dazey days that were the mid-80s, everything was all about The Bub. Spanky the Dog? Who? Uncle Tookie the Frog? Oh puh-leeeeeze. Yesiree, when it came to sheer pizzazz and pure animal magnetism, there was no contest.
Except for one man.
In all the land, there was only one who could rival my charm and charisma. Some might say that it was meant to be from the start: our eyes met across a crowded cancer research clinic one warm October afternoon, and I knew that my life was about to change forever. Even though he was talking to a doctor at the time, every sweet and dulcet word that tumbled out of his mouth like harvested wheat from a Thanksgiving cornucopia seemed like it was meant just for me. In the ensuing whirlwind, I was whisked away to California and promptly inaugurated into the heady lifestyle of the Hollywood glitterati. My welcome was warm and enthusiastic, and in just a few short months, my phone number was unlisted and I was the toast of the town.
However, no matter how famous I had become, it was Michael, always Michael whose approval I sought. Michael, who, with one pop of his hip, could light up an entire room. When he would spin on his heel and cry out "Shomon!" women and men alike would weep with joy and crying babies would burst into peals of laughter. He was a vision to behold, an inspiration, a legend.
Though my years with him were short, they were the most cherished ones of my life. I'll never forgive myself for letting things go sour; in my mission to be the only animal in his life, I ultimately drove him away and into the paws of another.
It's true what they say: if you love something, set it free....
Wooed away from Siegfried and Roy
People may think you're impatient, but you'll know the truth - that you just can't help staring at Vincent Barbarino!
Long before such disasters as Staying Alive and Battlefield Earth, John Travolta, America's Hunkiest HunkTM, was but a struggling young actor with only a thick head of lustrous raven hair to his name. John always knew that he would be a star, but unfortunately, the rest of the world was still in the dark.
Until one day.
On that glorious September evening in 1975, millions of Americans sitting down to the familiar amber glow of the family television would have their lives forever changed by two names and six sexy syllables: Vinnie Barbarino.
The rest, as they say, is history: Travolta would go on to capture even more hearts (if possible!) through the magic of film, dance, and song. A true Renaissance man and indisputable triple threat, John's nimble steps and luscious tenor bewitched millions and emboldened a generation of aspiring Italian stallions.
Not so welcome back....
Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
Lopez: Hey Preppie! ...err Mark...sorry man, old habits die hard.
Gosselaar: No worries, man. 'Sup?
Lopez: Looking at all this ALF merchandise really brings back some awesome memories. Like remember that time [inaudible]?
Gosselaar: Man, you were so waaaaaaaaaaasted!!! And you always said you wouldn't take your shirt off for less than $200 an hour.
Lopez: Yeah, like you didn't join in! Man, Tijuana has never been the same.
Gosselaar: Man, those were the days....
Lopez: Yeah, man.....
Gosselaar: It's a good thing the paparazzi wasn't like they are now - we wouldn't have gotten away with anything!
Lopez: ....
Gosselaar: Man, we woulda been toast!
Lopez: ....
Gosselaar: Mario?
Lopez: Man, you better come take a look at this....
Gosselaar: ....
Lopez: BEEFCAKES?!? Man, I thought you said no one would ever see those pictures!!
Gosselaar: (Making a 'T' with his hands) Whoa whoa whoa - TIME OUT!
Lopez: ...Uh, that doesn't work in real life, man.
Gosselaar: Aw man. That's one release form I wish I never signed. TIME IN!
Lopez: (Smacks forehead)
They might be embarrassed, but you'll be the coolest kid in school with this attractive "Saved by the Bell" lunchbox!
*May or may not be true.
