Results tagged “virgins” from Overlooked

In an effort to become more of a Team player here in Shopwiki blog land, I've decided to try to post my first blog. Today's topic: Virginity. In honor of my no longer being a Shopwiki blogging virgin.

For my first (and only) trick, I will attempt to categorize 3 types of virgins and provide them with 3 useful products. Here we go!

The "Can't Get Some to Save His/Her Life" virgin.
I have been friends with plenty of these and found that eventually, things did work out for them. So, if you find yourself in this category, fear not, your time will come.

1. The E-Pen (TM) Hair Removal Gadget. Lets face it, no one wants to sleep with a person with weird hairs growing out of their <insert body part here> is that what she said?
2. D&E Pharmaceuticals Body Odor Blocker. I'm not saying you do, but you very well MIGHT smell. Trust me, that's more of a turn off than that uni-brow you're sporting. Try these, they might help.
3. 1968 Chevrolet Camaro Convertible. This works 98% of the time. I promise. I can't think of a single soul who could resist this.

The "Saving Yourself until Marriage" virgin.
I totally respect your decision. And that's all I have to say about that.

1. The Holy Bible. uhm...because this is usually the gasoline to their gas tank. You can never have too many copies.
2. Cross Timbers Twin Bed Set. I think it's safe to remove the option of having someone else in bed with you. Remove all temptation.
3. Deluxe Chastity Belt. Are you THIS hardcore? No? Well then, you're not devoted enough.

The "Forget this, it's happening TONIGHT" virgin.
YEAH! I'm super psyched for you! Go get 'em Tiger.

1. Em and lo's Rec Sex : An A-Z Guide to Hooking Up. Most of the good stuff is in section X.
2. Condoms. Be safe not sorry.
3. Premium Travel Toothbrush. Generally a good thing to carry around all of the time, this handy thing won't leave you terrified of that morning hello-g'bye kiss.

That concludes my first blog. I started a girl and left a woman. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.